Leading and Modeling with Dignity
As I sit down to write, I have just come from embracing a colleague who was visibly shaken after an interaction with an upset parent. Several of us paused during the busy work day to debrief on what had just occurred and to process this event with our colleague who felt he/she had a very positive rapport with this parent. We reflected on the fact that Donna Hicks, Ph.D., the author of Dignity, is writing her next book and is including La Jolla Country Day School in it. How do we encourage all members of our community—faculty, staff, administrators and parents—to model dignity for our students? It starts with treating one another with kindness and concern.
Our own children are our greatest source of personal vulnerability. However, the very nature of the independent school process and certainly the college admission process requires that your son or daughter be subject to evaluation, assessment and scrutiny. For many, when receiving feedback about yourself or something that you’ve done, if you feel affronted, you can “shake it off” and move on or embrace the guidance and use it to fuel change. Yet, when we are told something about our children, even the most benign observation can elicit a primal response in us that is out of proportion with the information.
One of the Essential Elements of Dignity from Dr. Hicks, “Benefit of the Doubt” is one of the most difficult practices, yet it is also the most valuable one to help spare ourselves pain. This element reminds us to “treat people as trustworthy; start with the premise that others have good motives and are acting with integrity.”
My mother was a pediatric nurse practitioner and her mantra was to always focus on the power of early intervention. The evaluative process of admission to an independent school for very young children can actually be an opportunity where learning differences are uncovered and speech and language challenges may be revealed. This brings up one of the Ten Temptations to Violate Dignity “Resisting Feedback: don’t resist feedback from others. We often don’t know what we don’t know. We all have blind spots. We all unconsciously behave in undignified ways. We need to overcome our self-protective instincts and accept constructive criticism. Feedback gives us an opportunity to grow.” For young parents, this may be their first or second child, and not having been through the process, like Dr. Hicks says, you don’t know what you don’t know. However, veteran faculty who have seen countless children over decades are able to pinpoint areas in young children after a short amount of observation that might need further focus or development. Parents who can hold themselves receptive to caringly delivered feedback may be providing an invaluable gift to their sons or daughters by being open to ways to help with their child’s development.
La Jolla Country Day School
9490 Genesee Avenue
La Jolla, CA 92037
858-453-3440
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La Jolla, CA 92037
858-453-3440
© 2024 La Jolla Country Day School
Privacy Policy
COVID-19 Prevention Plan
