The Crisis of Connection
The head of Upper School expounds on the importance of relationships.
I have a very limited view from my office, literally and figuratively. Therefore, I try to be visible during milk breaks, lunch, and sporting and arts events. I truly enjoy interacting with our students to learn what they are thinking and how they are doing. Why? Because relationships are important.
The only view of students I have from my office is the balcony of the Visual Arts and Science Center. I usually see the same four senior boys hanging out on the balcony, and what I see truly warms my heart. They are all athletes, so I am sure sports are part of their conversations. However, they are also all serious artists, a true passion that came to them in different ways during their time at LJCDS. They connect through the artistic process, and their art gives meaning to all they do, a tribute to our program. From what I see, they truly care about each other and their friendship affirms the strong bonds that take place here.
During an assembly, I told the Upper Schoolers that half their wedding party may be in this audience. Not all schools are like this, and the lifelong relationships forged here are some of the most meaningful experiences for an LJCDS student. However, societal trends are not supporting those efforts.
Bowling Alone, a book published in 2000 by political scientist Robert Putnam, speaks to the decline in American social capital and decries the reduction of in-person, social connections that are important for a strong democracy. In the nearly two decades following the study, the pursuit of our common humanity has not improved. Recent studies have found increasing patterns of isolation and anxiety along with steep declines in trust and empathy.
The role of social media in our crisis of connection is debated and many hold strong, varying opinions. Grim reports on cyberbullying and teen suicide make some look at social media as a potential contributor—if not the cause—of increasingly anxious, depressed and dislocated teens. Ninety percent of teens own smartphones compared to 40 percent in 2012. Whatever the effect on a teen’s well-being, social media is now an ever-present influence for better or worse on teen lives.
The Crisis of Connection, a collection of essays edited by Niobe Way, Alisha Ali, Carol Gilligan and Pedro Noguera, is in many ways an update on Putnam’s study of social coherence. Professor Way used a poem of mine to help summarize her study of boys’ friendships in Deep Secrets, and I have been on panels with both Way and Noguera. The collected essays depict a deepening crisis of connection in our culture with new findings that show how physically unhealthy human loneliness can be.
LJCDS has partnered with Sandy Hook Promise in an effort to improve the social connections among members of our community. From their Start with Hello program to their Say Something reporting system, the Sandy Hook Promise will work to strengthen the natural bonds of friendship found at schools like LJCDS.
Please encourage your child to share their emotional needs with you and others. Help them understand that they are among teachers and administrators who care deeply about them and that they are in a community that values them being their honest selves, even if it means being emotionally vulnerable.
La Jolla Country Day School
9490 Genesee Avenue
La Jolla, CA 92037
858-453-3440
© 2024 La Jolla Country Day School
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La Jolla, CA 92037
858-453-3440
© 2024 La Jolla Country Day School
Privacy Policy
COVID-19 Prevention Plan
