Commencement Address by Director of College Counseling Karen Elitzky

It’s funny, standing up here before you today I can’t help but think of the great irony. Like Ali Stroh ’15 mentioned in her beautiful speech (with the exception of presenting Book Awards) I too have never stood up on this stage to make an announcement at a Friday assembly. And that has been intentional. I’ve been at Country Day for seven years. That’s about 252 weeks. Give or take holidays and two maternity leaves, maybe 225 weeks. That’s 225 Friday assemblies and I have managed to elude standing on this stage to give an announcement and now, graduation, my final year, and here I am. I’m thinking that making an announcement would've been easier, and I probably could’ve gotten through it without crying, which I have a good feeling will not be the case today.

 

The first thing I thought about when Mrs. [Beth] Cross asked me to give this speech, and what my message to you, the Class of 2015, would be, was the last time I spoke to a graduating class. It’s safe to say now since it's passed, but when I arrived at Country Day in 2008 and Ms. [Sarah] Golden was the senior dean, it was the tradition that the college counselors spoke at senior dinner. I was terrified but comforted in the fact that I'd be up there with Mrs. [Valencia] Hamman, and we would do something fun together. That was until Mrs. Hamman’s husband surprised her with two tickets for American Idol, which just so happened to fall on the same night.

 

So there I was at this beautiful event celebrating the culmination of a wonderful year, and all I could think about was standing up at the podium and trying to express to the class the profound impact they’d had on me as a person and a professional. Needless to say, I was nervous but my message was clear. I was overwhelmed and incredibly grateful for the way in which I was welcomed and embraced by this community. It was why I came to Country Day in the first place—the community embrace I felt when I interviewed. I met with people like Mr. Shall, Mr. [Scott] Feldsher, Dr. [Gideon] Rappaport and Coach [Jeff] Hutzler, Ms. [Sarah] Golden, Mr. [Jonathan] Shulman, Dr. [Susan] Domanico and Mrs. [Jen] Boock. It was different from any other place I'd been, and it's what I've felt every day since—the love of the students, families and faculty.

 

Seven years later, speaking to you, the graduating Class of 2015, I want to share that sentiment with you:

 

This community has a warmth that makes coming to work every day fun. It makes work not feel like work, and it makes leaving, very, very difficult. A community like this is rare; it feels like family. Thank you all for making me a part of it.

 

As I thought more about this school community, it occurred to me that I've been a part of a school community my entire life. I grew up in Villanova and went to my neighborhood public schools with the same people from kindergarten until I graduated high school. For those of you who know me, you know I speak often of Villanova for one main reason; I love Villanova basketball and often brag about our storied, Cinderella rise to victory over Georgetown in 1985. This slight tendency to brag almost cost me this job when I interviewed with Mr. Rod Jemison, who I didn’t know at the time, is a fierce and passionate Georgetown basketball fan. Fortunately for me, he let it slide.

 

Like you, I found many communities in my school, mostly in sports and service, but unlike you, it wasn’t as close knit of a community, as Hanna [Shaich] ’15 beautifully encapsulated in her video, it wasn’t home.

 

After high school, I attended a small liberal arts college in New England—one I believe more closely mirrors the experience many of you find at Country Day, and where I found new communities, still in sports and service, but most importantly, I found mentors and built friendships that remain my life blood today—friends my kids call their aunties, friends who know all my secrets, friends I can count on, always.

 

The type of friends I know, as I’ve watched you interact each day, even as you bound down the hall for chocolate or show off your matching iPhone cases that many of you have made and will have for life.

 

After graduating college and leaving that classroom, my heart called me to return to the high school classroom, and I found a new community at the quintessential New England boarding school, teaching, coaching and living in a freshman and sophomore girls’ dorm. A transformative experience that taught me that working with students to empower them to feel safe to challenge ideas, to take risks and to explore who they are and who they want to be was what I wanted to do, where I felt most at home. In other words, it is the environment in which I feel most content (that’s a common app essay reference to keep you all on your toes).

 

Many years later, after more teaching, beginning my career in college counseling and returning to grad school, a fortuitous series of events led my husband and me to San Diego and led me here.

 

When I arrived at Country Day, I was completely disarmed. I'd never encountered a community like this before—everyone was so happy to be here. I was introduced to my dear friend Mrs. [Susan] Nordenger, an extraordinary woman, who thankfully for me, Mr. [Rod] Jemison assigned to be my mentor. And just as she has been a mentor and guardian angel for so many of you, she has too, been for me. Her friendship and love for all she does inspires me every day. Through Susie, I've been fortunate enough to introduce my daughter, Lily to service projects like Walk for Water and the Giving Tree, to packaging cans and clothes for hurricane victims and teen moms and to learning, as each of you have, that giving to others is an essential part of our lives.

 

I have had the pleasure of working alongside Mrs. Hamman for the last seven years and to watch her kids, Isabela and Jackson ’20, grow up, and Mr. [Piotr] Dabrowski for the last two—two people who make all the stress of the job fun and whose friendship and camaraderie I am so grateful for on a daily basis. I had the opportunity to coach lacrosse and run around and be silly every day with Mr. [Dave] Jenkins and to develop and maintain a friendship that persists today. I’ve sat on the Ethics Council every fourth quarter alongside Mr. [Bruce] Fayman whose insight and perspective enlightens me on a daily basis. And I was blessed to have Ms. [Robin] Stewart and Mrs. Nordenger as my first visitors in the hospital after Lily was born.

 

I'm grateful to have had the opportunity to work with the sons and daughters of many of my esteemed colleagues: Mr. [Jerry] Fleischhacker's son, Alex ’10, Dr. Domanico’s daughter, Emily ’12, and of course, her son, Zach ’15, Coach [Terri] Bamford’s son, Frankie ’12, Mrs. [Kathy] Dinwiddie’s, daughter, Shayla ’11, Mr. [John] Edman’s sons, Johnny and Tommy, and daughter, Elise ’16, and Mr. Fayman and Ms. Alexander’s son, Fritz ’15.

 

And to have had the pleasure and privilege of being immersed in a faculty full of brilliant minds and more importantly, kind, compassionate and generous hearts.

 

And the students. Our wonderful students. As I look at you now, sitting on this stage, about to graduate, I can think of hundreds of stories you’ve shared with me—the losses you've mourned, the hurdles you've overcome, your triumphs and failures, your persistence, the tests of your will and of your character. And I am so proud of you.

 

I know some of you extremely well and some of you barely at all; I've had many of your siblings and gotten to know your families. I've known Emily Blodgett ’15 since she was in fourth grade and got dragged to college presentations with her older brother.

 

I've talked with you about college of course, but I've been so fortunate to share so much more with you. I've had the opportunity to laugh with you often, and to cry with you. (Fortunately, less often.) To push you and to comfort you, to cheer for you and to challenge you. To write and rewrite an essay 8,000 times with you. I’ve talked about relationships and breakups, full hearts and heartbreaks, prom dates and prom dresses and everything in between. And I have learned so much from every one of you.

 

I’ve learned about the Les Paul Epiphone and the joy of playing on your own guitar from Fritz, and how scary it is to hit a granite cloud in a prop plane from Stephen. I've learned the impact a simple kindness can make in a person’s day, and the difference between a supercar and a hypercar from Ian. I’ve learned about Fix your Buddy and a pure and genuine zest for life, from Emily and I've learned about having the courage to audition on your first day in a new school from Genevieve. I’ve learned about the pure joy of teamwork and assembling transistor radios from Zach and the beauty in turning back time and taking things slow from Katherine. I’ve learned about the unbridled joy of arguing baseball statistics from Joe and to embrace the delight of ‘brinner,’ from Dan. I've learned about the serenity of listening to Norah Jones while baking with my girls, from Glenn, and the importance of spots in time from Rachel. I’ve learned about befriending the one person who needs a friend from Sara and the meaning of zebra zerang and mamajoon from Niki. I've learned about trampoline dodgeball from Juju and about finding your voice to be a powerful role model from Amrita. I've learned the proper terminology for putting the shot and about powering through against all odds from Cydney (and unwavering loyalty from Jaylin) and about always following your heart from Clair. I've learned that things will land where they should even if you forget to hit submit before midnight from Bella and what it takes to be a savvy business woman at age five from Kylie. And I've learned that it is possible to completely transform yourself on stage, without saying a single word, from Jordan.

 

And I have witnessed day in and day out, the unconditional love, support and strength you, as parents give each of your sons and daughters and the incredible, unbreakable bonds between you and your children—now young men and women. It inspires me in all I do and want to be for my own two girls, Lily and Rose.

 

Community like this is rare and it is something to be cherished.

 

I've cherished the work I do because of the relationships it has allowed me to form with you as you prepare to take your next steps. The “where” being so much less critical than you think—it's “who” you are that matters, not where you go.

 

Always be kind.

 

You will take your heart, your mind, your creativity, your athleticism, your voice, your flair, your wit.... Your compassion and your generosity, your spirit and your soul, wherever you go and you will impact that place wherever it is, by being you.

 

The best version of you. And you will make it a better place. You will find a new community while this one will always be here for you. And it will embrace you while you immerse yourself in and embrace it...

 

Wherever you go, set the bar high and do not settle. Find your people, find your mentors, find your support and your confidantes.

 

Take yourself where you go and explore and discover and spread your wings, ask questions and take chances. But don’t forget your roots. Remain true to yourself.

 

Remain humble. Remain kind and generous and loving, creative and athletic and spirited. And know that we love you.

 

It is with great privilege and honor that I send you off with all my love and care.

 

It has been an absolute joy to watch you grow and I will hold you in my heart always.